Friday, July 13, 2012

The real deal

This one is rather personal but, I thought I would share a day in my (ideal )life , it doesn't always happen this way. (not that anyone cares but, these blogs are more for me than anyone else)
We get up bright and early every morning (although the kiddos are sleeping until almost 7:15)
Then I say my morning prayer, ride my stationary bike a grueling 2 miles (hey, when you are out of shape any excercise seems grueling. Personal scripture study (hopefully) and the day gets off running. we have medicines to dole out, breakfast to eat, family scripture and prayer time, morning chores, and kids getting dressed, teeth brushed, hair done, beds made, rooms picked up, 3 diapers changed 3 small kiddos dressed.
Now, if I can make it through all of this (usually we are done by 9:30) without arguing with someone (next to impossible), raising my voice (which happens too often for my liking) or dealing with food hoarding, rough housing, screaming children (there are some little ones here), stealing, then it has been a good morning. .But, I usually deal with more than a few of them.
next, is to start laundry, scoop the dog poo out of the backyard, watch John work for a bit, check FB :), changing sheets (for some beds), putting laundry away, doing morning dishes this is amidst the cries for attention, the cries of can I ...?can I ....?can I...? he is touching me, he is tackling me, I am getting hit witha  pillow, laughter, giggles and hugs and kisses. then, we hit 11 am.

There is no comparison in our lives. We all have specific talents and then, Heavenly Father gives us a little more to extend our talents so that we can carry out His will. The thing is, I love my life. You wouldn't know it if you came over sometimes but, there is no place I would rather be than in the chaos noise and confusion of my life.
Now, just so you know, it is not as chaotic as you might think and mostly, I am a director of things that need to happen. The house isn't always clean (well, it is on Wed. nights when our fabulous Amy comes and cleans for me). So, if you want to see a clean house come after 9pm on Wed. cause that is about as long as it lasts. :)
I get frustrated, I mean really? why does no one flush the toliet, put toliet paper on a roll, turn off a light or close an exterior door? I just thought that was common sense, guess not.
I eat frosting from a spoon and ice cream from the container. I am lucky to get a shower and dressed some days. I drink CF diet coke by the 2 liter (quick). I read books when I can and would eat out every night if I could. (I am a burger/pizza girl no exotic taste buds here just kid ones)

Life throws us twists, turns and curves. It picks us up and drops us down. But, where are we emotionally when that happens? Do we still have faith, do we still trust in Heavenly Father's plan? Or do we give up and complain about our lot, and why me?

Then, after a full day of hashing out problems and stopping arguments, gently and lovingly correcting our children (I wish), cleaning up the spills, changing the last diaper (for an hour), taking out the trash, cleaning up a dirty house and cleaning it up again and repeating myself for a hundereth time. It is bedtime. we say prayers, we read a book, we give hugs and kisses, (i wish I could say we tuck in but, I am usually just too tired, sometimes I make it though). The house becomes quiet. I write a paper, while talking to John and eating ice cream (from a bowl, i promise) the sound of silence reigns. I can hear myself think, I can stay in the bathroom as long as I want, I can read my scriptures or listen to a general conference talk (the option is there, I mean).
While silence reigns and peace presides all I can think about is, while I love the quiet it is too quiet and I miss my kiddos. John and I kneel down and say a prayer thanking the Lord for a great day full of safety and joy. Then, we fall asleep (after sharing a few of the more humorous moments from the day and some shared  chuckles and laughter).
In the morning we happily wake (okay not really happily but, I do manage to get up) eager (might be streching that a bit) to see the kids and see what today will bring, all the while thanking Heavenly Father for providing me with so much more than i deserve.


Well, with my husband gone for a week I have been thinking a lot about partnerships.
I am thinking specifically of husband/wife partnerships.
I have been blessed to enjoy a great partnership with my husband for 21 years.That doesn't mean each and every one of those days have been shared in an equal partnership. Some day, he has to take up the extra slack and some days it is me who has too.
That is what a partnership is. Webster defines it as "A relationship between individuals or groups that is characterized by mutual cooperation and responsibility, as for the achievement of a specified goal."
Well, that is certainly true in my life. We, as parents and spouses, are reaching for a specified goal. Your goal is probably different than mine. That is okay. But, we (your family) are working together to reach the shared goal that we have established.
I am also in a partnership with Heavenly Father. John and I have a shared partnership that is together and seperate from each other. That is interesting. I have goals that are mine alone and John and I have shared goals.
there is never one person dominate over another in this type of partnership. The definition states a mutual cooperation and responsibility. Never should one person "rule or reign" over another. There should be a shared trust, a shared life together, a shared opportunity to grow and meet our goals together.
So, basically, I guess what I am trying to say is how grateful I am to have those shared responsibilities. It takes a lot of work in  marriage. It is hard work raising a family. The reason is because they are both so important. There is nothing on this Earth more important than these familial relationships. they are not always perfect, they are not always fun but they are so essential.
I love reading "The Family A proclamation to the World" the three paragraphs that I am going to quote explain my thoughts on marriage and family:

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

When I read this, I realize how important a family is to Heavenly Father's plan for me. In a world with constantly changing values, family life is often attacked viciously. It just testifies to me how important family life is.
Partnerships that are based on love, mutual respect and trust are the foundations that we lay for our children. Having grown up in a divorced home, I realize more than ever how much that "scarred" me. The decision to divorce was neccessary and I don't condemn it but there are many times we throw our realtionships away because we don't want to work on it. It is too hard. Well, you are right. it is hard because there is such value in the return. If we endure and try to get rid of our prideful nature, we can make marriages and families work.
Whenever I get upset, I have noticed that it mostly boils down to pridefulness, for me. I don't get the time to do....When will it be my turn to...why does that family seem to get everything while i have to...
I see the effects that a destruction of a family creates.I see it every day. Our families are worth our best effort. When we are tired or discouraged try harder. Don't give up. It is never hopeless.
I treasure my 3 way partnership. Cause, I tell you, I could not do this alone. Nor, will I ever have to because of my relationship with a loving Heavenly Father.