I am going on a quest. A quest to discover who the "real" me is. I am well aware of who I am. But, i have always been a people pleaser. There is nothing innately wrong with wanting to please people. I have been a "must be seen as" person. So, I do and say a lot of things that stress me out, because I don't want to make waves or because I want to be seen in a certain way. Again, I am not sure there is a lot wrong with this personality type. We need all kinds of people in this world. We need people like me. However, in the past year I have been making some changes in my life..
I have lost 50 pounds. I have made a goal of running a half marathon. I am almost at a 5K in 6 weeks. I couldn't believe it! just yesterday, I ran 22 minutes in a row! At about 15 minutes into the run, I started to like it.! Who knew?
I have already committed to losing at least 20 pounds in 2014. I am going to shoot for 30 though.
I am also contemplating more changes in the near future. Some I can't disclose at this particular moment.
I want to clarify, I am not talking about selfishness here. So many people talk about "what about me? what about my time? what about what I want?" I am talking about improving myself. I am talking about not doing things because I don't want to disappoint people. I am talking about not overcommiting myself when I am already overwhelmed.
It will not be easy. It has taken me 43 years to be this person, it will take more than a month to change. I am going to be gentle with myself as I endeavor to make these changes. I am going to talk positively to myself and give myself permission to both succeed and fail. I am going to handle both of these with honesty, courage and hopefulness.
I am going to give my children more of my time, love and compassion. I will give them less criticism, anger, and judgement. I am going to give my husband more support, strength and encouragement. I will give him less excuses, frustration and whining.
This is the year! This is the time for less justification and more honesty.
So again....I am on a quest. A quest to find me. A quest to be more positive. A quest to do what I feel is right. A quest to become a better, stronger me. A quest to not only help and please people but to be true to myself and to make me happy too.
Any one want to join me for an opportunity to makes some changes? Healthwise? Emotionally? Let's make this journey together. Judgement free and honestly. One day at a time, one hour a time,or one minute at a time hand in hand.
3 comments:
amen girl! I think you have an awesome perspective on making positive changes! Thanks for the wisdom :-)
count me in! I could use some interpersonal change, spiritual increase, and all around self improvement. Thanks for who you are NOW and for your desire to become what you are intended to become. I love you.
Just like home, no one really knows me!! :-) jlt
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