Saturday, March 7, 2015

Feeling Left Out

I was thinking about this a lot lately. Interestingly enough, I read a blog post or article about this very thing. I wish I could find it again so I could share but, it was just what I needed to hear.

In the age of so much exciting technology, it is easy to lose the connection we have with people. We often comment on a Facebook post but are we connecting on a personal level with people?
It is so easy to get caught up in our day that we don't make phone calls or have a night out with friends. Some days, I am so busy and worn out, I don't feel like doing another thing.



Anyway, I was looking at facebook recently and noticed all of these ladies doing so many fun things together. They had pictures of them skiing or even just posting about the fun things they were doing with friends. I was feeling left out. I was feeling isolated.
I was feeling like I had no friends. I was feeling sad and lonely. I was feeling depressed. I mean, I have lots of facebook friends but, how often am I able to connect on a personal level with anyone?

This is a problem for me. In my group of friends, I am the oldest. Yikes!! The problem seems to be that I am older but have children the same ages as the "younger" crowd. So, I don't do a lot of things with my group. I guess the real problem is I don't particularly have a group. People my age have grown children. They are most likely working as well. The younger crowd just has a lot more energy than I do. Let's face it. 40's may be the new 20's but the energy level just isn't there. Also, I have 5 kiddos 5 and under. I don't particularly like to take them all someplace by myself. I mean the work involved in that task...UGH!

So, I try and make my connections through social media. Unfortunately, it doesn't work out in my favor, like I mentioned above. I just see everyone having a great time and me not included. Now, let me be clear. I am not whining and trying to get people to like me and invite me places. I am not angleing for more to do with friends. The problem lies in our society losing its personal connections with each other.
We post on social media all of the amazing things we are doing in our lives. We show pictures of the fun. We write posts about how accomplished we are. We tell everyone how amazing our children, grandchildren, spouse, friends, and anyone else we know are. We put our best face on as we post. People rarely post reality. So, what do I do? I compare. I compare myself to their fun and exciting lives. Then I start to feel insignificant and like I just don't matter.
How come no one posts about the mundane? How come no one posts, "yelled at my kiddos this morning. Grumpy mornings seems to be the norm around here." or "the house is just dirty but I am going to watch a movie and ignore it all. I may not even shower or get dressed today." "sometimes, I just feel overwhelmed with all that I need to do. Is there no end in sight?" "I am just not feeling the love today."  The kind of things we all experience. We all know that things don't go perfectly everyday. Why can't we show our human side?

Social media is a fun tool we can use to share our lives with those around us. It helps to know what is happening in people's lives and it is just fun.I see pictures of new babies, returning misssionaries, graduations, marriage proposals, weddings, vacations, etc... It is great.
However, at the same time, is social media turning us into people who don't interact with each other in person?I think it is a great tool for Satan to work his magic. Because, of the comparing, the isolation and the hits we take to our self esteem.
Satan has an agenda too. He wants to take us with him. A wise person once said, "Satan knows he has lost. He knows that he won't win the war. But, he wants to take as many of us with him as he can." He is able to do this because we lose our light when we feel sad, upset or insignificant. We lose a little of the Holy Spirit.
I am not sure how to battle these feelings. Sometimes, I want to get on facebook and say "You know what I did today? I matter too. I do laundry, mop floors, change diapers for 4 kids,cook for 19 people." well, you get the idea.
The fact remains that I need to keep my priorities straight. I need to understand that Heavenly Father loves me. That the Holy Spirit is a part of my life everyday. I need to know that I have value and worth and it does not hinge on people liking my status. I have friends. I have great friends.
I have people who love me and care about me. On the flip side, people used to just avoid each other


if they were upset now we get "unfriended" yet another way to humiliate and reject others.
What really matters in life is finding our own joy. Finding a way to feel peace with what we are doing.
You matter too. You aren't invisible or isolated. You are a beautiful son or daughter of a loving Heavenly Father. You are important no matter what your facebook status is. You have people that love you. You just need to unplug and connect personally with them. Invite them places and don't forget to take a picture and post it to facebook. :)





2 comments:

Shannon @ Dinner from the Heart said...

HA - I'm older than you!! :D I feel the same way a lot of time Cayce! I'm on Facebook and other social media all the time, but I don't really connect with people because it's part of my job. Sometimes it feels so artificial.

My life is mundane and sometimes my problems overwhelm me, too. And my house is usually a mess. ;)

It sounds like we need to make an effort to connect more personally, I just kind of suck at it.

Love you all the time in all the stages of life - because you're just so great, because you're just so YOU!!
Shannon <3

Tiffanie Michele said...

I so agree that social media can be used as such a front for the "pretty and perfect" instead of the real and messy. I'm all about REAL, and things of DEPTH. So sometimes, after a particularly too deep of an inhale of social media, sometimes I have to detox. Maybe we all do, but especially women; we love comparing. Sometimes I think it can be good to just POST on social media, and not to browse.. so we can avoid comparing. So maybe make that a thing for a day or two; don't browse, just post what you feel so inclined to, and then turn the phone or computer off, and carry on with your perfectly imperfect, and real life (: You rock.