Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Choice and accountability

Well, we may or may not be adding 3 more little ones to our family. So this started me thinking about choices. The choices people make and the choices I make.
Choices- Heavenly Father gives us all free agency. Free Agency allows each one of us the power to choose for ourselves. Heavenly Father doesn't demand we make changes He loves and encourages us to make changes but allows us our choice.
We have control over our choices but we don't have control over our consequences. That is such a hard lesson for people to learn. they often feel that they weren't allowed to make a choice and that circumstances put them into this situation. or better yet? bad luck.
I am not sure I believe in luck. I believe in blessings and I believe in good choices resulting in good consequences. Does this mean if I live a good life bad things won't happen to me? I was reminded of something the other day about the wise man building his house upon a rock and the follish man building his house upon the sand...The rain came and fell upon both of them but, the difference is what is our foundation built upon? sand or rock?
People think sometimes that they are the "only ones that have bad things happen to them". I say,"Bull".
We ALL have bad things happen to us. the difference is how we choose to respond to those bad things. The difference is do we make necessary changes to reach out for the good or do we allow life to get us down and to heap burdens upon us? I have many "bad" things that happen to me but, being negative doesn't serve me well or serve my family. It never makes me feel better to commiserate with something and complain about my life and problems. I do share complaints with my friends but, it still doesn't fix nor serve me well to do so.
Getting back to choices, I have made many choices that have brought me to this moment on this day in this second and I wouldn't change a one of them. The reason? Because it has made me who I am. I can certainly sit down and bemoan the fact that my parents are divorced and alcohol has played a part in my dad's life  for more years than I can remember. But, that won't change the facts. Nor, will it help me in any way. The experience has actually allowed me to understand partially how my adoptive children feel being brought into a new environment and not living with a birth parent. i can also understand (to some degree) what their life may have been like. i can relate. and, I won't even get started on John's expereinces and what we have been through together.
No one has an easy life without challenges and struggle, NO ONE!
Your choices determine your life and your attitude.
It is so hard for me to witness the destruction of a family. Unfortunately, with the lifestyle I lead I see this happen often. Let me repeat this is NEVER an easy thing to witness. While I love the children in my home so much, it makes me so sad knowing the struggles and heartache everyone has to endure in the future because of choices.
Kids deserve a loving and stable environment. Seeing the children grow and progress in my home makes me feel happy but also sad that their birth parents don't have the opportunity to see this progression. I ache for the birth families and for the children. (of course, that is one of the reasons we now have 18 children in our home). I can't ignore a child.
Ultimately my choices have led me to be doing foster care and caring for 59 children now. And a birth parents choices have led them to the place they are in.
Regardless, Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us. He wants strong families. Our society does so much to weaken the importance of family and family life. It is a sad state when we don't value the fundamental unit of society, a family.

But then again, we all have choices don't we?

No comments: